Monday, March 11, 2013

The Misunderstandings of the 20's

As I begin the last laps of my 20's -insert terrified face coupled with the Doritos goat scream- I have started the slow process of reflecting on this decade of growth and change. I've gotta laugh at the thought of how ill prepared I was for being an adult.There is no manual called How to be Twenty Something. And seeing that these are the years where you are likely to screw up life the most there really should be more preparatory information!  Let me tell you why:

1) Every 20 something year old who has graduated a teritary institution takes off the cap and gown and feels empowered and ready to conquer the world with degree in hand. No one tells you that 4 years of school is just an expensive formality. You get to your first job and find out that being able to write an essay on a theory, created by some old, white, dead guy aint gonna help you one bit! Working is where the learning starts apparently... *rolls eyes*

2) You do not know it all! Enough said!

3) All those benchmarks that you made in your younger days were just hot air. I remember being high school and stating that I would be married by 25 and kids by 27-28 after I had travelled the world with my husband and enjoyed our marriage, oh ps we would have a 2 story house as well. At age 16, turning 25 sounded like this magical age where you had life together. You get to 25 and realise that you were so not ready for the world and that little girl had no idea what she was saying!

4) You are young, wild and free live it up, your time is now. While I agree that one should enjoy your 20's to the max, the people that told you to live it up forgot to tell you the fine print.  Anything you do now to screw up your life is totally your fault and is way harder to reverse than when you were 18. Think of all the firsts you go through in your 20's - 1st real job, 1st bank loan, 1st promotion, 1st adult relationship. You have passed the young and foolish stage, you are no longer none the wiser and according to science your brain has fully developed! Aka Mommy and Daddy are no longer legally obliged to clean up your spilt milk. Screw up the job- delay your career or ruin it, screw up your finances- be broke, set back and unhappy, screw up your relationship- oh good grief!

Advice I've gotten so far that makes sense :
Save save save!
Dont use these years to spend like there's no tomorrow. Starting your 30's broke can delay your dreams for another decade. Try and save all you can now and try to clear up any debt.

Do everything you can while you live at home
Enjoy the cushy time spent living with your parents. Once you are out in the world you are responsible for yourself or others 24/7. At home with the 'rents you may still be able to get a few cooked meals a week.

As I continue jogging on the track outta 20's ville .... yes Mr Race Official I heard the lap bell- I cringe at thinking of how I really gotta get my self together for the next decade!

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Heaven help the confused

I often find the comments under articles and other types of posts quite amusing. Do you know that people even have heated debates under gospel videos and other religiously based material? Think of how the internet age has allowed anyone to anonymously air their views on any topic. I say all this to get to today's topic. Unless you have been living under a rock you would have heard that Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together after being estranged for about 4 years. You know this post isnt about celebrity gossip so dont stop reading. I have observed the commentary under articles relating to the pair and alot of the thoughts expressed scare me. A few brave honest souls expressed their concern/distaste for the renewed relationship only to be met by the wrath of who I would assume to be fans. The fans say 'leave her alone!', 'at least she's happy', 'mind your business', 'they were meant to be'. This wasnt just the sentiment expressed under one photo or article but many.

The comments scared me because it seems like her broad smile meant more to them that her apparent danger. Now don't tell me that things are different now and I have no right to judge their relationship. Chris Brown got into a fight the other day over a parking space! And a couple of weeks after that he appeared in court over an altercation in a club. Does this sound like a changed man to you? Did you forget the day he flung a chair out of the Good Morning America dressing room wrecking their glass window? Let me guess he still has a temper but doesnt hit women anymore.

Are we willing to ignore what goes on behind closed doors because someone looks or says they are happy? I do not hold Rihanna responsible for being a mentor to other abused women because she is human. And I honestly see a girl who was unable to process the loss of her first love. A girl who thinks that she deserves what he has to offer. I am more concerned that the people defending her would lend this same advice to a friend. 'Girl if he says he's sorry and wont do it again, go back if you love him. You deserve to be happy.And yall are so cute together.'

How many people reading these articles use this as validation to stay in the mess that they are in. Why isnt it ok to say I dont care how much I love her music, I dont care how much she says she loves him, she deserves better! We stare at this good looking couple who has everything in the world and think oh it will be ok for them, he loves her more this time, he left that other chick for her. This is the case in the life of many everyday people. We know what happens we hear it and see it. But there is this notion that they look good together so it will be ok. Or maybe he will stop someday. I really feel for the confused persons who are following her actions, reading the positive comments and thinking maybe it's ok to go back. It's ok cuz it happens to Rihanna and she's ok.
I think Whitney Houston's character in the movie Sparkle sums it all up perfectly. 'Wasnt my life enough of a cautionary tale?'