Thursday, August 29, 2013

The marriage thing....

I consider myself an average female when it comes to thoughts on love and marriage. Many have called me a romantic, miss fairytale, Disney princess(wait nobody calls me that) lol...I was probably the guillable young girl that swooned as Sleeping Beauty danced around the forest singing 'One Day my Prince Will Come'. At some point of my life I was completed sold on the magical marriage part of  life...aka the fairytale wedding and the words 'happily ever after' as end credits. The dress, the bridesmaids, flowers, cake, smiles and planning. Time and maturity quickly gave me a swift kick in the face and opened my eyes to the reality that marriage is a life commitment and not just a fun day with friends and family. Unfortunately there are some women who cant get passed the idea of having a wedding and a ring. Once they get that day and that bling they turn on auto pilot and cruise through life.

After this eye opening kick I began to slowly become slightly terrified of getting married. It's a big deal! It's more than living with a man, doing household chores and raising kids. It's an active commitment to making it work, to deal with the attitude, with the differences, with the times you want the person out your space. What scares me more is what I see when I look around. I am beginning to see the 50% divorce rate play out in my newsfeed. It freaks me out to see the wedding photos of couples crying on the alter and then 2 years later notice strange statuses, absent wedding bands and removal of recently acquired last names. I'm not watching the older people married for 40 years, I'm looking at my peers, I am hoping that they can show me the good example. The example that puts your mind at ease, that although hard it can be done.
It gives me mini anxiety attacks, because I often wonder if these people had started off on a known crash course. You know the ones that people whisper about...'why are they getting married?' Or are they the earnest notion of love, seemingly happy, in love and committed. What goes wrong in 1-5 years? Didn't they like anyone else start out with the will to make it work? I guess pictures dont really tell a thousand words, because in pictures everyone looks perfect. There are young people that I know and see that give me that hope and knowledge that it indeed can be done and through the challenges it can be worth it. *Thank God for good examples*

There's a couple I see every so often when I walk to my car in the afternoon. The husband is usually sitting on the steps of a building waiting on his wife to come down the road. Once she get to him they smile and share a kiss and begin walking down the road, engrossed in conversation. That isnt a show (they dont know I'm watching), that isnt a picture in an album on a day you are supposed to smile alot. It is just two people glad to be spending thier lives together. They make me smile every time, my little reminder that love is all around if you just look. And that the scary marriage statistics, just mean that you have to work even harder than you originally thought.
To my married friends fight in the trenches, get mud in your hair if you must just please hold it together.

As for me and my anxiety, I will repeat the words of my adopted grandmother -she doesn't know this yet.
 'Trust in love one more time and always one more time.' ~Maya Angelou~

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Live your life like your playing mas!

Carnival is over ... back to regularly scheduled programming *insert pouty face* All the fetes, limes and sessions are over *insert sigh* And of course my favourite part, mas, is non existent for another 360 something days. Mas gets alot of side eyes nowadays and I just wanna say something about it. I love it! I love the fact that I can dress up in something different, it's kinda of like the feeling some people have when getting to dress up for halloween. I love my feathers and beads and stockings. I love jumping and jamming until evening. I love being surrounded by my friends. Some say it has nothing to do with emancipation. I disagree in a way. Although history states that there was no epic street party after the emancipation declaration, the point is we have the freedom now to do so. There are lots of persons who overdo, who have lost their self respect and who have not made the parade very family friendly. I too roll my eyes with disgust at some of these persons. But I refuse to let the bad eggs spoil this time of year for me. If I did, then they, and their behaviour would win and how cool is that?
So if you want to know why I have found myself in costume for 12 years in a row every August that is my answer. I just love it and know who I am, why I am doing it and how I want to be seen. Cheers to my mas lovers, to those who love to chip down the road and forget their worries for a few hours for two days. The world is depressing enough sometimes why not have a little fun until the music truck locks off and tells you to go home! Ahh boy back to life ....