Sunday, July 7, 2013

1/2 year update

I'm stuck! All my writing projects on dangling in a hinterland of black space. Nobody is talking loud enough to me right now to warrant me listening and writing. I must admit that the pressure to produce is absolutely overwhelming! The constant, reoccurring question from family, friends and strangers is always 'When is your next book?' or 'What are you working on now?' I usually have a politically correct answer like 'there is also something on the burner' or 'I'm working on a few things.' I learnt at a workshop years ago to never tell people what you are working on. Truth is there is nothing eminent, nothing close to completion and I have no deadline or goal as to when that will be. Some changes need to be made to my first book but other than that things are slow. J.K Rowling was sitting on a train when an adventurous little boy popped into her imagination. I have no doubt that my Harry Potter will appear when I least expect it.

Just by admitting that I was stuck. It was suggested to me to write a few words about my vision board and a spark for a blog post was lit. The year has just entered its second half so it is safe to access my progress.

I decided to stick to my mantra in life, actually live it and not just talk about it and quote it everywhere.  To be the Moondancer you actually have to live fearlessly. This is quite difficult for a person who is naturally careful, calculated, worrisome and self conscious. But I have been doing well and learning to live for my happiness and not that of others who tell me what they want for me and expect me to comply. I know they are well intentioned, but at the end of the day. It is my life and I have to live it.

According to my board I hoped to
Do me, be me - Slowly but surely I am coming out of the box drawn around me and becoming Floree....for example I bought and wore quite a scandalous number because I loved it and wanted to come out my comfort zone. Are there people in my life who felt it was inappropriate? Sure, but that's not how I felt and I enjoyed the experience and I am coming to love my body more and more.

Love Better- It wasn't that I was loving badly. I am great at loving but it is hard for me to be loved because of certain issues I have had. But I am getting better. Having someone that is understanding and patient makes the process so much smoother.

Get Fit- Since January I have been working with a trainer, except for one month I have been constant and I like my process. At first I thought I would only go until May. But I think I am going to stick with the trainer for the year.

That's it, I am doing me, being me, making my choices and not apologizing for it.

Ps I must once again thank my friend Amina for the vision board session. I would also like to thank Brenda Lee for her words of inspiration :) I love being surrounded by such amazing women.

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