Ok I need to start blogging more like seriously what's the point of having one right? But I've been busy really I have I'm trying get some other writing 'projects' done. I started out hot and started to fizzle, but I'm the little engine that can so imma get it done.
Other than that I've been on some weird emotional roller coaster with a lot of weird unexplainable feelings. I have been having a really hard time figuring out what's wrong when everything in my life is pretty right. It was really rainy and grey today and I guess there's something somber about listening to raindrops fall on leaves. That quiet plip plopping allowed me to think about stuff. Two weeks ago I wrote a poem called Acceptance (I deleted it but a saving soul recorded it when I performed it and Ive been to lazy to transcribe it so see the video below)
Basically it's about coming to a point where you accept that past for what it is and what it gave you. This includes accepting how your own choices impacted your destruction. That is no an easy point to come to. But most importantly outside of accepting the past for what it is you must accept that the present is not the past. I think of it as using a courier company to get your packages. But this company is a bit careless and the contents of your package always arrive broken. You now expect for them to deliver damage goods. You stock up on crazy glue and accept it as life until you have had enough and get rid of that company. When you find a new suitable company something in you always tenses as you open your package expecting to see bits and pieces of your precious cargo. But everything is in tact because this company promises to deliver, and that's great, but you still expect -with crazy glue in hand- that things will be broken. At some point you must accept that this company indeed delivers on its promises and you can relax. So my lesson learnt over the past few months is Acceptance the final stage of letting go and feeling the wind beneath your wings.