Saturday, January 12, 2013

Excuse me you jumped the line

Hello there *waves and smiles* This is my first attempt of many to become a frequent poster. Be proud of me lol. Ok so here's a bit of insight into the clockwork of my mind. You can say Amen if you feel me or shake your head in disgust. But I speak from an honest place. Aight enough preamble, let me introduce myself; I am the 4th child for my father, his baby girl and the first of two children for my mother. Spoiler alert I consider myself a princess! Take your judgements and side eyes elsewhere please I am getting to the point. Being on the junior side of one set of siblings and being on the elder side of the other, I have come to learn my place in the order of life. Everyone takes their turn in the order they were born. I am currently blabbering to my few followers because someone has stepped outta line and caused havoc. Kind of like that person on the assembly line that adds their sprocket before their predecessor adds their bolt. *stop the presses*

The following things go out of sync when a younger sibling gets married first: 

1) You cant elope if they did!

 You be dam sure that all the pressure will be on you to ensure that your mother gets to wear her champagne pink mother of the bride dress. Now you might be like but it's your wedding blah blah blah, the person that does something first is the guinea pig and allowed to test the waters. The one after usually gets stopped dead in their tracks.... My mother flat out told me one day that the child's wedding is the parent's wedding. If she doesnt get it the first time, the second time ahhhh ....prepare for future fight *check*

2) People start treating you like you are emotionally fragile

All of a sudden everyone, especially those old aunties, begin inquiring about your love life with extra concern. "How's your friend?"they ask and hold their breath hoping I say he's fine and not, 'oh we dont talk anymore'. Why is this old lady rubbing my back when she asks me about my life, as though I'm depressed?

 Im living rent free with momma, those ppl at the altar gotta go find some rent money every month, I'm cool chica, go join or something.

3) The people who were overlooked on the first wedding's guest list will surely be snuck onto yours...

4) Any deviant behaviour is measured against their success.

If one kids pulls all A's and the others dont, they hear about it. If everyone is pulling C's it doesnt look so bad. First borns set the trend and are not measured. We just aren't!

5) It's not new aka not a big deal.
Dammit all first children understand how special it is to be first! Everything is new with you. Us first children have obscene amounts of baby pictures because everything we do is novel and cute. The other kids....meh...first time eating with a spoon is sooo over-rated the 2nd and 3rd time. First big graduation, everybody is invited to celebrate that a child has passed the point of being a juvenile deliquent. The next child, ok well it's great that you made it, here's some cake. Please stop reading this if you are not a first child. You just wont get it lol.

This is in no way a post out of jealousy, if that's what you are thinking, you 2nd and 3rders are so clueless. I am content with my current lot in life. It's a simple existence that makes me smile daily. I'm still in my prime and not ready to leave the nest. *That's what I tell myself to sleep at night, rocks back n forth in corner* ... I'm just messing with you. But seriously  I wish all my siblings the best in everything they do and total success in every step they take. But I'm just saying, we have rules and order for a reason.... *thinks of ways to grab attention in the meanwhile....enrolls in NASA Space Program.*


  1. Phew. I wonder what those kids who were raised by wolves feel like? Imagine being the human child of a litter of 8. "First deer kill at 9 years old?" "So what. Back when Wolverine was your age he ate Little Red Riding Hood."