Random rambles

Im not sure how to begin this posting, cuz im not really sure what im saying. Sometime this year I think (its been a weird year i cant remember anything anymore) I for some reason thought i was selfish and of course that's not a very nice trait to have. Then it was pointed out to me through a series of decisions i had made that I often, no most times, think of others first. I was asked when i was gonna think of me an do what i want and not worry about the reactions of others. As momma Sade says 'im crying everyone's tears'. I wonder who cries for me?
I've always walked on the side of caution. I guess I felt safe, it was always the best place to be. Guess sometimes i wasnt living just doing what is safe, following the rules, staying out of trouble. Maybe for awhile i will try to put me first.. ok so i currently dont know what im rambling about. I think for once its a lack of control, not knowing what im doing where's its going, how it ends or where to begin. I dont do complication well nor do i do unplanned stuff..... but eh lets see what the wild side is like... what else is there to do stare at the walls! *sigh* life can be soo complicated

love and other stuff

I was going through my postings and thought my myself 'my gosh do I talk about anything other than love/hurt?' For a minute I considered changing the name of the blog to love and stuff!
But I suppose love is a universal emotion, the one thing everyone desires to have even if only for a fleeting moment.
And I suppose that is it my strength and my weakness. For I love hard, but have also been a fool for love.
Ya so this blog is full of love and other stuff cuz I guess to really dance on the moon one cant be afraid of love or to love. And love is the prettiest and scariest emotion, think about it when you are in love its beautiful but to get there you have to unlock the chains around your heart and everyone is afraid to unlock the gates of their heart.
So yes this is love and other stuff that crosses my mind!!!

Need you now

 
Everytime I hear this version of this song, tears come to my eyes, this artist to me pours more emotion into the song than original artists.
  I think everyone comes to that crisis moment when despite their better judgement and reasoning they need the 1 thing that they are not supposed to have. The one forbidden person who are you supposed to run in the opposite direction from. But in the darkness and despair of a lonely night you cant help but to ignore your good sense and call. And its too late because you have already picked up the phone and dialed and its ringing .......There's no turning back other than to say I need you now and hope that you can deal with the consequences it brings on another day
Its a quarter after 1 I'm all alone and I need you now. 
I said I wouldnt call but I lost all control and I need you now. 
And I dont know how I can do without I just need you now.  

Smile angel

You smiled at me and you didnt even know me. Never saw me before and I'm pretty sure I had that face on. The face that makes people say 'smile nuh'. But you turned around and you smiled at me, and your face brightened my moment. You turned around and you smiled again and again. And when the time came you gave me a great big hug, and I didnt even know your name, never saw you before. But you were warm and friendly and simply sweet. I wanted to know your name, because the innocence of your soul has affected me and I wished nothing but the best in the world for such a sweet angel. I prayed silently that no one would ever harm you, because such innocence is often misused.
Lord I wished I had met you before and prayed for you sooner, to know that someone had tried to harm you and take away your angel wings, hurt me. Someone tried to remove the smile from your beaming face and the sweetness from your soul. Why and how could someone ever look at you and not see a child who's only knowledge is to trust everyone around, to love and to learn. Why you had to learn this lesson I dont know. All I pray is that you never loose your smile. * Smile angel smile*

Dedicated to a little girl I met with a beautiful smile