Her tears never dried....

Feel like I had to say something, I was truly honoured to be introduced to this woman's music. I think I was in college, after  hearing 1 song I downloaded the whole album! This made me fall truly, madly deeply in love with her. And out of utter respect I bought the album, had to own it and give her support. She had the old school soul with this raspy voice that just made you wonder if she had been transported from 1975. Alas looking back I kinda realise how sad the whole album is, how sad the songs she chose to cover were, which probably reflected her tormented soul. Why so many amazingly talented artist loose this fight with their inner battles we will never know. I feel that maybe they carry a burden we don't understand. Whereas we can lie around for weeks in a rut, they gotta come on stage and bring you the joy that you have been waiting for, hence sacrificing their own. A part me was always hoping she'd kick the habit and return to music land. She's now that artist my kids will hear about that left this world too early, while her music lives on in history.
To Amy Winehouse, whose tears never dried on their own..................


My fav Winehouse song, surely got me through sometimes. This is the original demo where she poured her heart into it.

Sliding Doors

A couple of years ago I watched the movie Sliding Doors. I loved the concept of the movie, basically it showed the paralleled life of a woman based on what would have happened if she made 1 simple decision. They showed her life and what would have happened if she caught the subway and if she didnt. It was interesting to think of how someone's life could be so completely different by making one simple daily decision. I often look back on my life to find these simple decisions.
Ok follow this chain, I wanted to do IT at university out of the 4 schools I applied to only 2 responded, one in Niagara Falls, one in Toronto. I choose Toronto (clearly if I chose the other school this story would be different; these occurrences will be called a sliding door for shortening purposes). So I went to UTM and in my 2nd yr needed a 2nd major to accompany my first. I took a shining to psychology but I didnt have A level maths- i HATE math, and what it has to do with psych i aint know! So the advisor recommended writing, I unwillingly accepted *sliding door, I coulda done a specialist instead*.
In my 4th yr I really wanted to do the Making a Book course but I didnt feel like I was good enough to be accepted into the course, but with sweaty palms I went to the prof. *sliding door, no confidence, no first book* Hence my first book came to life, therefore why I went to the literary fest in 07, where I met one half of August Rush in a workshop. *sliding door I coulda not chose that workshop, or not sat next to her.* Sometime later she invited me to be backstage help at the Vagina Monologues *sliding door, i coulda said no* (side note she lied cuz when i got there i was handed a script!) but anyways...

If I didnt take this opportunity I wouldnt have been the adopted sister of an infamous radio personality, I wouldnt have met August Rush and been privy to all the great things they do, which in turn inspires me to keep, keeping on. I wouldnt be a lady of the square table, I wouldnt have met my fabulous liming partners, I wouldnt have met a certain St. lucian beauty who later exposed me to the movie crew, whose movie nights I cherish dearly. All this stems back from deciding to go to UTM instead of Brock University. Hold a second can you imagine how many lives would have been affected if those ladies choose other sliding doors that led to no monologues!!!!

Nothing is coincidence my friends everything is aligning something in your future that you haven't even thought about yet! There are tons of other sliding doors in my life. You should think about yours, its pretty cool!

The ladies of the square table

I grew up watching shows like living single and girlfriends, I always admired and yearned for those group moments where the women would sit around sharing problems, stories and giving their advice on an 'issue'. I always liked the fact that a bunch of women could pass hours away just talking about any and everything with no judgment and a couple of well placed jokes. Fast forward to my 26th year on earth, I'm not really sure how we all ended up together. But one extremely rainy, thunder and lightening, chance of flash flooding night, four ladies gathered around a square kitchen table for mudslides and an assortment of sinful desserts. Thus began the ladies of the square table, a silent Floree wish granted! And we talked about everything, and laughed, and talked and I absolutely loved it. What stood out most for me was when I shared the sentiment that for the rest of 2010 my heart would be closed. I was tired, seeing that it was the latter half of a long ass year, did you hear about my 2010!! But anyways needless to say I was exhausted didnt feel like sharing myself with anyone, anytime soon. But alas the purpose of the roundtable is to share and advise. And seeing that I'm the baby of the table I get to hear the experiences of those a few steps ahead of me. I suppose you are always in the right place at the right time to hear something you need to be told. One of the lady's of the table simply told me not to do it. Don't close down, she said while relating a story that made her think if only I had known. At the end of the night she gave me a hug that I can't ever forget. This hug said I know what you are going through but don't give up. I keep replaying that advice in my head for the moments when I realise why I needed to hear that. That single piece of advice gave me this weird positive you just gotta believe Floree mode. Nights like those remind me of how great life can be if you situate yourself  around great people, sisters, friends. And also that your girlhood desires of female laughter around some alcoholic drinks is definitely not overrated! Cheers to the ladies of the square table.