Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sorry
I watched For Colored Girls and felt inspired to write something cuz the movie made me think of sooo much. There was a scene more than 1 actually about being tired of hearing sorry......
It made me remember one painful night being told 'look at me, Im really sorry about that, seriously' Wish I had mustered up the strength to say no! No your sorrys have long expired. Not the kind of sorry's for stepping on my toe or forgetting to call me back but the unrepeatable sorry. The one that is only allowed 1 utterance. You've long past the limit of borrowing sorrys from a bank that you can never repay. Your credit line has been discontinued.
Why is it so easy to mock her? Why is sorry such an easy target, to mock, imitate, abuse, turn inside out and upside down? She is so downgraded that she longer means anything to you because you use her like a fresh pair of underwear. She's nice and fresh in the morning and soiled and thrown away by evening. She is like dust in the wind to me almost untraceable and invisible to the eye, barely seen and hardly felt. You may no longer use her, for your debt to her can never be repaid. All she ever asked was to be mentioned in reverence to be uttered at your purest most deepest sign of regret.
Now she just calls out to you, shouting, gnawing at your insides. You can feel her everytime your heart tugs, asking you, begging, pleading 'Please please never speak my name again. Give me my dignity back allow me to go free, I have no more of me to give. You have ruined my name, tarnished my reputation, leave me alone, you have no right to call on me.'
Please leave her alone your sorry means nothing to me.........
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