In Vain

'cause if you sacrificed everything, it'd better not be in vain'

ok so can we talk about this song! Wait first of all i have to give major props to Jazmine Sullivan her songs are always dead honest. She wants to break the windows out his car. Yes we all thought about it! She's in love with another man yep open, honest and straight to the point. She's not scared of lions, tigers and bears but she's afraid of love! Who isnt afraid of love! What a brilliant writer, please please dont leave music!!!
Ok back to the song! So from listening without paying attention one would assume she's wishing the best to the guy that left her. Hopes his new woman treats him well, in fact better, that he's happy etc. It's only when she says 'cause if you sacrificed everything, it'd better not be in vain' that i realised how subtly sarcastic this song is. She really isn't wishing you the best. She really doesnt mean 'i hope she's everything you want and everything I wasn't'  In fact she only hopes for your sake that it was worth it, that throwing away everything you built was worth it. Why? Well because it would have been in vain. Vain: not yielding the desired outcome. And the assumed desired effect would have been that the grass was greener on the other side, not so? Think of it as building a house from scratch and then falling for some wheeler dealer who has some cheap prefab houses. For your sake one would hope that this prefab doesnt fall apart because your other house has already been sold! 
Yes Jazmine you speak the unspoken words of many victims of love gone sour - 'cause if you sacrificed everything, it'd better not be in vain'

Dreams.....

The other day it randomly crossed my mind how we hear all this push to fulfill our dreams, people write books on it, hold seminars to inspire the dreamers. I reflected on some of my dreams and realised how they had changed not because of fear or my own self but because of others. Now the sun shiney day optomist motivational speaker person will tell you that you shouldnt let people get in the way of your dreams...... right buddy! 
Think about it for a second now suppose your dream is to be a high level manager at some big corporation. Ok dream in focus, you work hard, harder than your peers, you go beyond the call of duty, do the usual sucking up etc, you're smart have all your degrees in check etc etc. What if for some reason there is someone in the higher ups that a) for some reason hates your guts. b) is screwing someone else who wants that position c) wont be leaving that position until they drop dead. Challenge right? Now unless you plan to do something illegal you either wait for karma to arrive or slowly come to the realisation that achieving your dream at this particular company may not be in the cards. Now you may leave and get to this level somewhere else. But what if this place meant something to you? Dream not achieved!
Now dont count me as a pessimist cuz hey something positive did happen just maybe not specifically the way you want it. What if some bad minded person had not wanted to see Oprah hosting a talk show? Im just saying....
I think we tend to run into life thinking this is what i want and this is how i want it and imma get it. That's good, dont get me wrong, but we must also say 'if its for me'. Because unfortunately every dream we have isnt for us or meant for us. Ah the part about life that's the hardest, knowing that you are not really in control. 'Sight beyond what I see, you know what's best for me.' Ya the Big Man upstairs is steering this ship, you say where you would like to go and then you stare at the horizon hoping its going where you want. If not, be not dismayed He's not taking you into danger :) 
Hence I dream and stare at the horizon. I would never stop dreaming, a person without dreams, well how do they live?  

Peace and Blessing for 2011

And 2010 is over!!!! YES!!!!!
I have never been so nervous for the clock to strike midnight. I was so anxious for the year to change. I guess I associated my not so always pleasant experiences with the number on the calendar. There's always been this imaginary wall in my head that you hop over when the year changes. I couldn't wait on 1 hand to just hop over and run away as fast as I can. On the other hand all the emotions and disappointments couldnt help but to clutch onto me for 1 more time. The words of Queen Sheba's poem-It will pass - kept replaying in head 'I cant promise you the pain will stop tomorrow, or you wont burst into tears when the clock strikes New Years.' Since i heard that poem earlier in the year  I dreaded the inching of the clock's hands on December 31st. But guess what I did it :D ' Because it will pass like it always does, as time promises it will'
Now down to the purpose of this post!
Happy New Year to all my readers and friends. I sincerely pray for God's richest blessing upon your lives. I dont think this year wouldnt have been possible without the people that God has placed in my life. You all know who are you and how thankful I am for you :)
This year I look forward to possibly a children's book, yep I have to put my butt in gear.
Being a part of another 'When a Woman Moans' production, lol that's as far as I've gone into planning the new year.
I just look forward to more laughter, great times, success, growth, love *ermmm* lol and lighter blog posts!
I read this earlier this year and it inspired me hope it brings some peace to you as well.
'Green pastures are before me of which I have not seen.
Blue skies will soon be over me where darkest clouds have been
My hope I can not measure, my path to life is free
My Saviour has my treasure and He will walk with me'

Peace and blessing for 2011
From the Moondancer!

Random rambles

Im not sure how to begin this posting, cuz im not really sure what im saying. Sometime this year I think (its been a weird year i cant remember anything anymore) I for some reason thought i was selfish and of course that's not a very nice trait to have. Then it was pointed out to me through a series of decisions i had made that I often, no most times, think of others first. I was asked when i was gonna think of me an do what i want and not worry about the reactions of others. As momma Sade says 'im crying everyone's tears'. I wonder who cries for me?
I've always walked on the side of caution. I guess I felt safe, it was always the best place to be. Guess sometimes i wasnt living just doing what is safe, following the rules, staying out of trouble. Maybe for awhile i will try to put me first.. ok so i currently dont know what im rambling about. I think for once its a lack of control, not knowing what im doing where's its going, how it ends or where to begin. I dont do complication well nor do i do unplanned stuff..... but eh lets see what the wild side is like... what else is there to do stare at the walls! *sigh* life can be soo complicated

love and other stuff

I was going through my postings and thought my myself 'my gosh do I talk about anything other than love/hurt?' For a minute I considered changing the name of the blog to love and stuff!
But I suppose love is a universal emotion, the one thing everyone desires to have even if only for a fleeting moment.
And I suppose that is it my strength and my weakness. For I love hard, but have also been a fool for love.
Ya so this blog is full of love and other stuff cuz I guess to really dance on the moon one cant be afraid of love or to love. And love is the prettiest and scariest emotion, think about it when you are in love its beautiful but to get there you have to unlock the chains around your heart and everyone is afraid to unlock the gates of their heart.
So yes this is love and other stuff that crosses my mind!!!

Need you now

 
Everytime I hear this version of this song, tears come to my eyes, this artist to me pours more emotion into the song than original artists.
  I think everyone comes to that crisis moment when despite their better judgement and reasoning they need the 1 thing that they are not supposed to have. The one forbidden person who are you supposed to run in the opposite direction from. But in the darkness and despair of a lonely night you cant help but to ignore your good sense and call. And its too late because you have already picked up the phone and dialed and its ringing .......There's no turning back other than to say I need you now and hope that you can deal with the consequences it brings on another day
Its a quarter after 1 I'm all alone and I need you now. 
I said I wouldnt call but I lost all control and I need you now. 
And I dont know how I can do without I just need you now.  

Smile angel

You smiled at me and you didnt even know me. Never saw me before and I'm pretty sure I had that face on. The face that makes people say 'smile nuh'. But you turned around and you smiled at me, and your face brightened my moment. You turned around and you smiled again and again. And when the time came you gave me a great big hug, and I didnt even know your name, never saw you before. But you were warm and friendly and simply sweet. I wanted to know your name, because the innocence of your soul has affected me and I wished nothing but the best in the world for such a sweet angel. I prayed silently that no one would ever harm you, because such innocence is often misused.
Lord I wished I had met you before and prayed for you sooner, to know that someone had tried to harm you and take away your angel wings, hurt me. Someone tried to remove the smile from your beaming face and the sweetness from your soul. Why and how could someone ever look at you and not see a child who's only knowledge is to trust everyone around, to love and to learn. Why you had to learn this lesson I dont know. All I pray is that you never loose your smile. * Smile angel smile*

Dedicated to a little girl I met with a beautiful smile