Masterclass with Maya

I had the pleasure at 1 am last night of finally getting to see Oprah's Master Class with Maya Angelo. It was a class indeed! There's just something about Miss Angelo, when she talks there is this light beaming from her. It draws you to her, I think that's that energy thing Oprah was talking about, I have never met this woman in person but her positive energy draws me to listen to her wisdom. She said sooo much and I just sucked it all up. She spoke alot about leaving a mark on the world by leaving a mark on people. "Be the rainbow in someone else's cloud". Ps im ordering her books 'letters to my daughter' as we speak I wanna be her 'daughter' and get more advice/wisdom. 

She also touched on the fact that you have to know yourself....geez do I ever struggle with this sometimes. But her light made me feel like possibly(probably) I already know who that person is but I'm too hard on myself."The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach."  She said that we are all teachers and I'm a firm believer in this fact that everything you go through in life at face value is at least something you can teach someone else.

Even when she speaks you have to just smile the way her words just seem to flow into each other, every sentence is poetry! I felt like she was talking to me that she would say 'my child why do you trouble yourself so much, why dont you enjoy life and stop worrying.' I felt that she would take my hand and smile and recite a poem that made absolute sense to only me
  Her main message in the class was to treat people well, to see the good in every person, to laugh alot and love life. 
  "The main thing in one's own private world is to try to laugh as much as you cry."   
"Love life. Engage in it. Give it all you've got. Love it with a passion because life truly does give back, many times over, what you put into it." 
"We are all human; therefore, nothing human can be alien to us." 

Her ending quote is what really left an impression on me. She said in essence that 'You should live your life so that when people say your name they dont say 'oh dam, hell' but rather 'what a nice person, she's so sweet, God bless her.'
I can totally try this out. Thank you Miss Angelo for inspiring one of your 'daughters'

The moment

Ok so call me a sap, but I've watched this movie about once or twice, did not make my list of top movies ever. Probably wouldnt watch it if it was on. But I came across this scene while I was randomly youtubing and tears came to my eyes. I totally felt like the lady in the white shirt, the way she stopped and was totally transfixed on Drew's monologue.
To be real despite the grittiness of real love, which is probably not portrayed in above romantic comedy,everyone, as hard as they want to appear doesn't mind these little moments. In fact we want them and cherish them in the recesses of our private mind. Yes it is pretty sappy to sit crying infront of the tv cuz Jack and Jill reunited and kissed in the rain. But heck if you were Jill in real life for that small moment in time, nothing else matters. It's like going on vacation, I'm talking resort everything's already paid for vacation. While you are there you dont care if your plants at home are wilting, that work is piling up on your desk, that you and your best friend had an argument. For that time its all the about the moment. Everyone wants a moment, the moment, when the world stops, sounds go silent, distractions go on pause and an alternate universe is created between you and this person. Doesnt matter what's gonna happen with yall 2 months later, doesnt matter that they were acting like an ass last week, doesnt matter that they didnt call when they said. This moment lives on its own, far away from real life. Happiness for if only a brief passing moment is always worth it

Top 5 movie cries

Call me a punk if you want but I'm that sucker who cries when someone dies in a movie. Dont get me wrong I'm not a happy endings sap who sheds tears cuz the boy found the girl, now that's pathetic!
Anyways here are my top 5 movie cries...(no Titanic is not on this list!) Note well I've only watched these movies once, and this is only my top 5 ^.^!
Spoiler alert I give away the ends of these movies lol

 

5)

The Green Mile
I watched this only because a guy friend of mine said he almost cried. A guy almost crying for a movie! No, no I had to see for myself! Just explain to me why the sweetest soul on the earth had to be wrongfully executed! Why!!! *sniff sniff*

4) City of Angels
WTH man! An angel leaves heaven gives up eternity to be with a human, talk about love and she dies!! First of all Nicholas Cage does a very good sad, pitiful face and then the dam song plays 'In the arms of an angel, fly away from here..' *tears*

3) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
This movie made me feel awful! To think of living life in reverse from an old person to a baby, aka seeing everyone die simply depressed me. The movie finished and I just sat and cried when i looked back I realised the movie was full of death basically! Every stage of his life someone died because everyone was getting older as he got younger geezzzz... *rivers of tears in the dark*

2) A Walk to Remember
Oh boy what can I say they fall in love she gets deathly ill and you know the rest! I cried for the last quarter of the movie, into the credits, im not done yet, and passed the Mandy Moore music video after the credits. Sad I know im not proud!

*drumroll*.............and the award goes to.......

1) The Notebook
Cheese and crackers this one took me down!! First of all in the history of me, no movie has made me contemplate stopping it! The old man gets sick and my mind had convinced me that he was gonna die and the old lady was gonna miraculously get her memory back and he'd be dead! I just couldnt deal with that outcome. I attempted to pressed stop as tears raced down my face. I digressed and continued in silence! Ah i was wrong thank goodness but that didnt stop me from having the nastiest movie cry ever! Just tears, upon tears, upon tears, head in the pillow boohooing! After this I opened my door did a quick peep to make sure my roomie wasnt roaming around the apartment. All I needed was for her to see me in my shameful state, "why darling what's wrong, who died?' How could I ever say the people on my computer screen! If you saw my eyes when I tiptoed into the bathroom! Blood red! Yeah im embarrassed! Keep that flick away from me!!!

Change the voices.....

 "You're so mean, when you talk, about yourself you were wrong.
Change the voices, in your head, make them like you instead.
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game.
It's enough! I've done all I can think of.
Chased down all my demons, i've seen you do the same"-- Pink

So I had a fight with myself, a huge cuss out, drag in the mud, i totally hate you argument, with me. No there is no typo, don't act like you never argued with yourself! It was one of those weird days where my mind decided to go into self destruction mode and I had a hard time finding the red wire. After the whole meltdown was averted, I reflected on our confrontation. As usual the 'positive' side of me was overpowered by thoughts of the worst. Usually when these fights occur there's a specific reason that needs to be targeted after the dust has settled. It usually that i have allowed something or someone to poison me, my essence, my inner core. I only realised what had caused this fight when someone said to me 'you are not the same Floree'. What not the same me! Of course I didnt change I just think different, i said. But really was it because i had matured or because after a bout with poisoning, my immune system had not recovered properly?
Yep I've been poisoned, slow poisoned at that to the point where i have turned against myself. At any given moment my mind can begin attacking me with things that I must convince myself of not being true. It's funny I can be like a pretty house with a beautiful garden but when you open the door to go inside you realise that the inside is in disarray.
We are our own worst enemies (well i know that's my case), the mind is such a powerful organ! Your mind can make you see and believe things that are not there to the point where you are completely convinced. I guess the first and most important step is to always figure out how this thought was planted and then begin to eradicate it. Thankfully I have a direct line to a Man in the sky when i need help, really good friends that keep drumming it into my thick skull and that Pink song!

Grey Revelations part 2

 And now its time for another tidbit of wisdom from one my favorite shows! If you ever get to watch the show listen to the intro and closing lines, always food for thought


We don’t wish for the easy stuff. We wish for big things. Things that are ambitious, out of reach. We wish because we need help, and we’re scared, and we know we may be asking too much. We still wish though, because sometimes… they come true

We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future. As if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of of our deepest fears, and our wildest hopes. But one thing is certain: When it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you’re little, night time is scary, because there are monsters hiding right under the bed. When you get older, the monsters are different. Self doubt… loneliness… regret. And though you may be older and wiser, you still find yourself scared of the dark.

Sleep. It’s the easiest thing to do. You just… close your eyes. But for so many of us, sleep seems out of our grasp. We want it, but we don’t know how to get it. But once we face our demons, face our fears, and turn to each other for help, night time isn’t so scary, because we realize we aren’t all alone in the dark

What I would tell my 16 year old self!

I just saw this on another blog and I had to do one myself. The post was called 'What would I tell my 17 year old self'. Imma use 16 seeing that's the age i was when i graduated high school and i thought it was a 'magical' age where life fell together....

• Being a drifter is ok, later on in life you will drift into things you never thought you would do. I suppose I thought i was different cuz at career day i dressed up as an adult cuz i had NO clue what i wanted to be, needless to say i was the only 'adult' at the event lol ... I totally blew in with the west wind into my current career path. 
• You are amazing just the way you are, trust me .....
• Everything that you think is running away actually isnt sooo slow down ... couldnt wait to be 18, little did i know that i was on a slow decline into adulthood and there aint no turning back! Bills and responsibility can wait!
• He is not end all, be all .... ah some lessons were learnt the hard way
• Not everyone behind your back has it .... real friends only show themselves when you least expect it 
• Stand in love dont fall in love... apparently you can see better that way, havent tried it yet I will get back to you. 
• That's just who you are not everyone will get it, but as long as you do that's all that matters
• Trust you gut its usually right
• You're a late bloomer, that just means your flower lasts longer! 
• Time works miracles on all wounds 
• You just made a not so silly mistake which will make sense many years later. And its ok this is still your worst mistake to date 
• Everyone doesnt show love in the same way, not everyone says it but you WILL just know who does
• You are smarter than you think and stronger than you believe 

What would you tell yourself?

Dear Disney

Dear Disney
I had the privilege of spending a few hours with some of your classics the other day. Alot of warm, fuzzy feelings came back to me as fond memories of my childhood infront of the tv resurfaced. 
But I have a few issues to bring up. Issues regarding the way you sort of us brainwashed us children with your princess, once upon a time, oh look the prince, happy endings stories. Now im not knocking kids stories, in no way should kids be depressed by the worries of life, but cant you be in the least bit realistic? Shall we examine some examples now? Yes, lets do that..
Sleeping Beauty - according to the disney version she was hidden away in the woods with the 3 fairy ladies until after her 16th bday. Now  before she randomly meets the prince in the woods. She tells the animals how she wants to meet a guy, how the fairy ladies never let her do that......hold up a second..if she was in isolation from birth how in the world does she know about boys???
The big tune for the movie was 'someday my prince will come'... yes, yes be hopeful that your prince will come someday even if you a 16 yr old hermit girl hidden in the woods. So at 16/17 Aurora found her prince and got married...What did we little girls learn? that 1st puppy love sweetheart is the one! not likely ....next........>
Cinderella- Cinderella. Cinderella. Cinderella. the biggest farce of them all!! Now i get the whole deeper meaning thing that ppl try to equate to this story. But honestly little girls dont think that hard. Girl goes to the ball falls 'in love' with a guy she dances with for like what an hour! They hardly spoke so he didnt fall in love with her stellar personality, but alas they had that 'love at first sight' thing. She bolts and he searches the whole kingdom for the girl with the 7.34 size foot (apparently that shoe only fits her) ya ya its magical, stop bursting little girl's bubbles blah blah..... On a side note Ever After is one of the fav movies solely because it is the most realistic version of the story. They met,have a relationship hence really fall in love as opposed to the wham bam thank you mam version of the story... like really!
Snow White- umm did she even know this dude before she fell into the poison induced coma? Boom pow he kisses her breaks the spell and alll is well they get married in the end right? Of course instantly!

And what did we learn young ladies? A prince always comes to save us at the end of the day.....right.... exactly!

But imma be fair and give Disney some props Ariel went after Eric, Pocahantas refused a 1 way trip to England and Mulan wanted honor before romance..... ah maybe the world is balanced! Cmon now i cant always be serious :)